She just has a kale-smoothie mustache.
Today, the Beannut and I were just hangin. Now that I’m working more and have a sitter and the BeanPa helping as well as the GrandBeanMa, I have a lot more time to myself. I’m a heck-of-a-lot saner by far. But that means more separation. It saddens me, but mothering (especially the nursing part) out of a mental institution would have been harder.
So now we get to hang out and my focus is purely on the child. I try to close my laptop, avoid my phone, and just be with her. I can do all that other stuff when someone else is playing with her.
Anyway, we wandered into our usual haunt today … Whole Foods. And there they had the Vitamix Roadshow where a woman with blonde braids and a plaid shirt practically did magic tricks using this very expensive, very powerful blender.
In under ten minutes, she was handing out cups of hot tortilla soup, then ice cream made from banana, cabbage, grape juice and strawberries. Next, she had frozen cappucino and then tried to convince a woman from the “audience” to get rid of her juicer and proceeded to throw in bunches of grapes (stems on), cantaloupe (seeds in), strawberries with the green tops on and kale, spinach, pineapple, and honey. No need for fancy juicers. No need for crappy blenders (oh the crappy blenders I have lining my storage shelf). Simplify, people (for just under $500)! While she worked to make the sale, Beannut and I stood by licking our lips. Finally, she doled out the green juice and the Beannut, used to consuming drinks that look like slime (I make similar stuff for her at home, with my very crappy blender), snatched it up. She drank it so fast, she gave herself a tummy ache… and a green slime mustache.
Then she wanted to walk. So I followed her down the aisles as she checked out stuffed-pig tub toys, stainless steel canteens, and bottles of cal-mag pills (all displayed at her eye level–about three feet high). We stopped for a moment to admire a newborn in a stroller being pushed by an apparent grandma. We cooed, and the grandma looked at us a little oddly, smiled nervously, and pushed the baby away.
Whatever. Not everyone in this world can be as friendly and sweet as my child.
We saw the woman again and she veered in the other direction.
At the checkout counter, I brushed the hair out of the Beannut’s eyes and saw that she not only still had her kale-smoothie mustache, but it got smeared some on her nose and was dripping down the sides of her mouth. Looking a bit like neon-green snot. I suppose if you saw her, and you didn’t connect her to the Vitamix-roadshow, you mighta thought my kid had some awful plague.
I understood the fleeing grandma, and I actually felt like explaining that it wasn’t what she thought. But then we left her alone.
