Me to the Beanpa on a walk to Whole Foods the other night to pick up a new “secret” item I was going to try out on the Beannut in an act of sheer desperation during her most recent growth spurt (and with limited choices due to her dairy and soy intolerances, which prevent her from . . . → Read More: What Are You Then?
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It’s hard not to be obsessed with sleep. I haven’t really had any in about ten months. That’s counting the last two months of my pregnancy, when all I would do is lay upright at night (from the severe heartburn) like the elephant man, rubbing my legs and itching my belly. Now, I have a frequent . . . → Read More: My Sleep Obsession Lives On… They always say Da-Da first, don’t they? Really, they don’t know what it means, right? I mean, it’s just baby babble. It just sounds fun to say. I mean, cause, after all … I AM the one who pushed you, dear beannut, from unmentionable places and felt the worst pain … pain so bad, there has . . . → Read More: In the End … The other day, the BeanPa was working from home, and had the Beannut on his lap. She was helping him type. Apparently, she wanted to send me an email. q 6. Never in my life have I seen the likes of what I see doing laundry in this house. Then again, I’ve never done laundry for a man and a baby. BeanPa has allergies, and so most of the time, a tissue explosion occurs silently during a load of colors that involve the pajamas I want to . . . → Read More: Adventures in Laundrydom Not really. Today was the start of our baby-led weaning, which some like to refer to as baby-led solids … as the thought of weaning might upset them. Not here! Here, it’s a welcome thought. Here, we wonder when and if that day will come. Anyway. And your first attempt at consuming anything other than Momma’s . . . → Read More: You Ate That’s how much the “beancreature” (as BeanPa has become accustomed to calling her) weighs. Wait. What?? That is pure, unadulterated BOOBY JUICE, people. My question is this: How did my BODY manage to produce TEN POUNDS OF MILK? Or maybe she’s been sneaking chocolate cake when I think she’s really in . . . → Read More: 18.2 HELLO already. Are you there? You certainly seem ready to make your grand entrance. A while back, you seem like you wanted to make a real appearance. Six weeks we waited. Six weeks before Christmas when, finally one night, my mind just went kaplooey and I started drinking. Not like heavy drinking—not like the whiskey I’d . . . → Read More: Ode To the Phantom Teeth “I purchased you at the BeanNut store, la la, you were Foooourteeen ninety-nine … I purchased you at the BeaNut store, la la… I had a . . . → Read More: BeanPa Sings: So this is our story. It is not your average boy meets girl. It is ours. And sometimes it still shocks me. BeanPa in the kitchen or our apartment: “So we met on the internet.” |
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